I’ve been
away for a couple of weeks now and fml etc. [short rant warning]
I got some
shitty autoimmune disease that likes to scar my cornea from time to time, the
last 12 years I’ve had a big scar on my right cornea which blurs
everything on the right eye, but my left eye was okay, so it didn’t affect my
vision per se (the brain works in mysterious ways I’m telling you!).
Anywho a couple of weeks ago, I got a little scar on the left eye as well, it’s
not as bad as the one on my right, but enough to blur my overall sight, facial
details blur together after a couple of meters and I’m squinting when reading
and writing, I can still do both luckily… but to put it gently - it fucking
sucks.
The 1/10-12
I’m going to see a specialist team here and they will decide on whether or not
I can get a cornea transplant, but what I’ve been told by my own eye doctor the
chances aren’t good.
As one
might imagine this shit kinda puts a damper on things, everything not only drawing.
So
naturally I’ve been playing Diablo 3 and not drawing at all.
I’ve been focusing on limitations and all the shit that could happen and bla bla
bla “what use is learning to draw if you will lose your sight at some point?”
etc.
The way I work is very “all or nothing” everything is on a scale, like this
drawing business, while I was doing that it was the only thing I was doing - literally.
So what do
you do?
You apparently
talk… and after that you finish a depressed drawing.
It’s a
portrait of Jens Pulver which I didn’t get to finish before this shit, but
managed to put the last touches on it yesterday as the first thing I’ve worked
on for weeks.
I guess you
could say I got a bit angry with everything, but if for nothing else that shit
can be turned into fuel at least.
I didn’t want
to bother with details or doing anything slow and meticulous, I just needed to
draw/paint some fucking anger and frustration.
It should
be Ed Harris, but I didn’t really care I just wanted to blow off some steam, I
won’t be adding details or anything, it is what it is… a fucking fist in the
table, fuck the rest.
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The process gif's
Still very uncertain about everything, but I do remember my ol' favorite quote.
- Kurgan: I got something to say! It's better to burn out than fade away!
