Not a lot going on here

Yes I'm still here. Been struggling with motivation and which direction to pursue etc. I have gone back to pencils lately, I just wanted to refresh some of the basics again and not relying 100% on pure digital work.
I'm shocked though, it's so hard for me to work with just pencils again, everything seems slightly off and unnatural, which fucks with my motivation.

I started on some Kimon Nicolaides again, but it felt weird and I started to question the value of it, at least for someone at my starter level. Feeling the gesture and weight etc. is great ofc, but to me it seems like something that should come after a general drawing foundation, like right now I just want to draw a person with somewhat correct proportions etc. In my mind knowing how to feel a gesture doesn't really help you all that much if you don't have a clue about basic anatomy for example, sure I can feel the action of someone throwing a fast ball, but if I don't know where the elbow should sit, or how you actually draw an arm with some basic muscle ideas, I don't want to draw some old black and white Mickey Mouse clone where the arms are just waving around. It's not the style I'm looking for at least.

Anyway, picked up ”Loomis – Fun with a pencil” book again, this time drawing the circles and actually using some of the ideas came a lot easier. I remember I tried it when I first started this journey and understanding how a circle worked in 3D space was just too big a leap for me, as well as drawing using basic shapes just made me angry. Now though it was just a matter of practice and patience... mainly patience for goddamn copying drawings from a book etc. is a drag.

Don't really have a lot to upload, but there are the Loomis copies, so I suppose it's better than nothing. In the end I tried the techniques to de-construct a still frame from Despicable Me, dunno... some of it made sense, but... meah, wanted to render it afterwards though, which was a mistake, because fuck I can't control the valuing with a pencil -.-