My brain is stupid... wtb transplant!

Schedule 3 done.

I had a few days break from this book and its exercises, the frustration over the modelled and weight exercises just beat me. Something had to change or this would just spin out of control, so I decided I would start up some fitness routine again - after about a 4 months break - it’s the worst shit ever to start up after this long a break, but the energy and clearer thought it gives is priceless, especially when you’re in a downward spiral.
Maybe it’s just purely a placebo effect, but nonetheless I did manage to complete the third schedule now. It’s still very confusing and hard, but the modeled exercises do flow a bit better now and that’s at least something.

In the break from the book - and its hell schedule - I tried to pick up a pencil and just go back to “basics”, but wow, something had clearly shifted, I could not for the life of me produce anything… I’m not sure if it was because I maybe tried to force a 100% imagination approach or what, but even drawing an eye again felt weird and alienated.
In retrospect I do feel that I should have started with this book, the tools and habits I picked up from the start feels like crutches now. The way you learn to draw with for example Betty Edwards are good and you will learn the basics very fast, but to me it also feels like it will quickly box you in as well.
This book however does have a feel of wild goose chase, especially if you’re doing it alone and if it’s worth it? … well I’ll have to wait and see, still I prefer this approach to learning over getting an already finished assembly line plan “just do this and that - *boom* you can now draw” in a sense it feels like just asking Google “ how to draw a horse”, that may great if you only care about drawing the same old horse over and over, but if you want more you have to dig deeper and develop your own understanding – that’s my view on it at least and in all honesty I don’t know shit. ;)

Now to the drawings, I don’t have a whole lot, but I can upload the modelled exercises I did so far.

The first one here was my BANE which knocked me down for the count. I couldn’t understand anything at all, and it only succeeded in pissing me off which is quite obvious in the drawing - that’s no drawing done in a “good” mood :P

The second one was slightly better in the sense I wasn’t stabbing the paper with the crayon, so progress on that behalf. The feel of wtf I’m doing is still nowhere in sight though.

 

 Third one, same story as the previous, it’s messy and I have the distinct feeling of drifting in and out of consciousness while I’m doing this exercises, it’s like my brain just goes “*click* let’s see what’s on channel 4”, that can’t be the intention, as far as I’ve understood it I’m supposed to feel like I’m using clay and in the weight part I should have the sense of building it up from the core etc… I got nothing like that, instead my subconscious is watching Jersey Shore or something, it’s definitely not trying to “feel” the shape and weight or modeling with clay… no no, my ego has left the building the moment I picked up the crayon… “ahhh shit it’s time for this again *hangs up sign – DND watching Braindead*”

Last one. Still no idea wtf I’m doing, but I did figure out that I needed to be a lot more gentle and not using a lot of pressure, I should be using a medium lithographic crayon, but all I could get was “very soft” and that shit is way too oily and sticky.
It’s very weird starting these drawings with a 10minutes weight exercise approach, to develop the shape and all, firstly you can’t erase any mistakes and secondly you’re not drawing the contour so trying to figure out proportions are kinda like a roll with the dice. The urge to draw symbols and lines are quite real.

So yeah, these are all the Modelled Drawings I've done so far. 

Maybe I just need to think about "the further away the darker" fuck everything else.